Doors
by Sarcasm Turtle
Summary: Atton manages to distract the Exile long enough for a quick therapy session. LSFExilexAtton. Unfortunately, I don't own any of KOTOR. Last chapter in this series, but there's a sequel coming.
1. Luck

**A/N: I figured it was time to upload something since Joking Around is on hold until I A-get some time to play Noveria again, and B-feel like writing it. Ha, well the first chapter of this is kinda short. The next one's like four pages though. I think there's gonna be like five chapters but with big gaps in between some of them.**

**If I owned KOTORII I would've totally made the romance better, but as I don't own that awesome game, here's a story for it.**

Doors

Chapter One: Luck

"Is this _really_ necessary?" Ryn muttered as she closed her dark eyes. She was currently squashed on all sides. Behind her and to her right was the corner of a small storage closet. In front of her was a tall stack of large, metal crates. And finally, pressed against her right was the lean body of Atton Rand.

"You _want_ to get eaten?" he asked cynically, referring to the gigantic pack of laigreks that banged at the door, demanding entrance.

"Not particularly. But why can't we just fight them?" she complained. Ryn Falken ran a hand through her short, dark hair, making it even messier than usual.

He turned his head to look at her and she was startled by how close his face was. His slightly longish nose, defined features, angular jaw and frowning lips were all just a few inches away. "Because, your _majesty_, you can barely move from exhaustion and wounds, I'm a bit banged up too, and we just ran out of medpacks. We're just gonna have to wait them out."

Ryn looked away with a huff. "Fine."

"It's not _all _bad, is it?"

She didn't reply; the smug grin in his voice told her it would be wiser not to do so. But he persisted.

"_I'm _here, right?" The pilot leaned back so his head rested on her knees. "And these little storage closet nooks are kinda cozy, y'know? I mean, who knows what sort of fun could happen—"

_SMACK!_ She struck hard and fast, leaving a red hand mark across his glowering face. "I would've used the 'saber, but as you so _politely_ pointed out, it's a tad bit cramped in here."

Atton stared at her for a moment and then, to her utmost surprise, he burst into laughter. "Oh yeah? I bet one day you'll be begging me to—"

_WHUMP! _The door shook from an outside impact.

They silenced immediately and the odd pair exchanged a look. The door was breaking, and fast. Atton surged to his feet, and, in an astounding display of gentlemanly behavior, offered his hand to assist Ryn to her feet.

Warily, she placed her hand in his surprisingly warm one; she imagined it was due to those strange gloves he always wore. Then, with an unexpected pull of strength, he pulled her to her feet. She blinked as she realized their faces were extremely close to one another. The smuggler grinned at her shock and quickly reddening face.

Without warning, he rushed forward and placed a tiny, teasing kiss on her mouth. As it was her first, Ryn found herself frozen in shock, even after he quickly pulled back. "Good luck, Falken," he said with a wink before reaching for her belt and holding out her lightsaber.

Ryn's eyes darkened even more and she snatched the 'saber out of his loose grip. She used one hand to push him off and the other to activate her viridian blade. "I don't need luck," she managed, her face burning crimson red.

"Who said I was talking about fighting?" he smirked as he brought up his blaster, with his chocolate eyes still locked on hers.

The door busted down. "Shut up and shoot, Rand."


	2. Surprisingly Serious

**A/N: Chapter two! Ugh, I couldn't think of a good title so I just picked an alliteration. Pathetic, no? Hey, this is the only chapter that isn't based on a song. The first one started out with MakeDamnSure by Taking Back Sunday, but it ended up getting a life of its own. The others are really close to their songs though. This is where we start seeing the T rating and it's also a lot longer. Hmm, wonder why? lol enjoy (:**

**Don't own anything. Ah, that sucks. ):**

Doors

Chapter Two: Surprisingly Serious

"I know it's hard, but try and get some rest."

Ryn Falken looked up at Mical and sighed. "Alright," she lied. Absentmindedly, she fingered her short, dark strands of hair.

He gave her a scrutinizing look. "You've been pushing yourself _far_ too hard ever since we left Dantooine. Take a break."

As she watched his retreating form exit the medbay, she looked for something, _anything_, to throw at him. Did he think she _enjoyed_ being so exhausted? She didn't ask for these visions; that damned cave on Dantooine gave them to her and for some reason it would always return whenever she slept. So she'd stopped sleeping. Pretty soon she had to cut out meditating too, because a faint vision began to appear. But in her dreams the vision would get clearer every night.

Ryn felt a trickle of sweat form on her neck. _Great, now I'm running a fever_, she thought irritably as she yanked off her shirt and threw it across the room, leaving a much smaller undershirt in its stead.

A shimmer of emotion seeped towards her, as if it was struggling to get by some unseen barrier. Curious, she deciphered the feelings that were echoing in the Force in such a strange manner. She was surprised to find a large amount of lust, admiration, and respect all embedded in a vast sea of… well, she wasn't quite sure what it was. Suddenly, she felt that unknown emotion turn dark as it faced someone else. A wave of partially forced hatred echoed along with a hint of… jealousy? What exactly was going on with her crew?

Footsteps sounded in the hallway. Ryn threw the covers over the exposed body and lay flat on her back, pretending to be asleep. She didn't want to talk to anyone when she was this irritable (not to mention confused).

Immediately after the door opened, she knew who her visitor was. The familiar sensation of an impenetrable mind coupled with a strange reaction in her heart could only mean that her pilot was near. She blushed ferociously as she felt the lust produced as he no doubt saw her bare shoulders and collarbone. A faint "hmm" was uttered as his barriers increased again to prevent another lapse in control.

After a few moments of silence, her body began demanding the sleep that her fear deprived it of. It dragged her down, deep, into her own mind, further and further into its dark depths until… she was only a ghost.

_She started to see Kreia, dressed in all black, holding a red lightsaber. At her feet was a mangled body. At first it was blurry, like the previous dreams, but it quickly began to take shape. A glove without fingers clothed a hand that grasped a 'saber. Ryn began to see ridges of a ribbed jacket…With a start, she realized who this was and began to run to his side with a cry of worry._

_But a pair of invisible hands were pinning her ghostly self in place, and no matter how much she struggled, they relentlessly held her down. She screamed, but no sound came out. She wept silently, clamping her eyes shut to prevent seeing him die in a pool of his own blood. But she still felt him, his dying presence calling out in pain for her._

_"Ryn…Falken…" he moaned. He continued and they began to grow louder. "Ryn! Oh, God…"_

"Falken! Ryn, what the hell's wrong with you?"

Her eyes snapped open and leaning over her with his hands gripping her bare shoulders, was Atton Rand. Ryn hungrily gulped in air and her throat made a tiny whimpering sound that was completely foreign to her.

Atton released her shoulders and motionlessly stood over her, his chocolate eyes wide with concern. Something about the way he looked right then, looking so genuine and scared, made her trembling hands reach out to grab his jacket and throw herself in his arms.

She marveled at his warmth as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. A bit of that strange emotion leaked out and enveloped the two of them in a sweet cocoon.

Ryn mentally shook herself, finally pulling away to give him a long look. He still looked concerned, but it was a lot calmer than the wild fear she had witnessed earlier. His brown hair was scattered messily; she carefully removed a few strands from his eye. He smiled and did the same for her.

Atton was the first to break the silence and the embrace. "Uh, bad dream?"

"Not exactly, she breathed shakily. "Remember that cave on Dantooine?"

He scowled and shoved his hands in his pockets. "The one you were too proud to let us come in with you? The _same_ one that you nearly stumbled out of?"

She shook her head at his protectiveness. "You couldn't possibly have helped me—nobody could… That cave gave me a vision. And now it keeps replaying in my sleep. But it continues to grow clearer and clearer until I'm…" she trailed off and looked at the tangled sheets. "Until I'm convinced it's real."

"I'm guessing it was pretty scary."

Ryn put a small hand to her forehead. "Oh, Force, it is!"

He scooted over a chair so he could plop next to her. "You wanna tell me about it, or…?"

She smiled; his expression was attempting to appear calm and uninterested, but she knew he was dying to know what was ailing her. As she began to form her answer, however, she quickly sobered. "Kreia… is a traitor. I was just a pawn to her. And I'm a ghost so I can't do anything when you—" her voice caught in her throat and she gave him a wary look.

Atton gave her a thin smile. "It's okay, go ahead."

Ryn gulped and nodded hesitantly. "Well, you—in my dream, that is—die."

"I'm dead?"

"Dying, actually," she corrected quickly. "I always wake up before…" She couldn't continue any more before putting her head in her hands.

She felt a hand gently rest on her shoulder. "Hey… It's okay, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

She peeked at him through her short fingers. "Really? You promise?"

He smiled at her and she was surprised to see that there was no hint of smugness about him. It was a real smile. "Yep. I'm staying with you for as long as possible."

Ryn gave him a grateful smile in return before she realized his hand was lying on her bare shoulder. Gasping, she yanked the sheet up to cover herself. Her face felt hotter than a 'saber.

Atton chuckled with his old roguishness, his eyes dancing with teasing. "Aw, c'mon, Falken. Let a man have his fun."

"Peragus was bad enough, thank you very much," Ryn replied hotly.

"Hey, Peragus seems tame compared to what you're wearing _now_. I never saw your stomach there."

She peeked under the covers and saw that he was right—the undergarment she currently wore only covered her chest. The blush spread to her ears and neck. "Oh Force…"

More laughter erupted from him as he propped up his feet and laced his hands behind his neck. "I don't see what's so bad about me. I mean, I saved your ass on Peragus, didn't I? And I helped with Telos and Dantooine. If you ask me, I'm a pretty good catch."

Ryn snorted. "Oh, yes. A Pazaak obsessed, juma-drinking scoundrel of a pilot is _exactly_ what _every_ woman wants!"

He glared at her sarcasm. "Alright then, Princess, enlighten me. What would _you_ prefer?"

"I'm a Jedi, Atton. I _don't_ prefer because I don't have relationships."

He gave her a sly look. "So if it weren't for the code—?"

She immediately realized where he was heading and her dark eyes narrowed. "Stop," she ordered.

"Can't a guy have a little hope?"

"Not with _me_, he can't." She started to turn her head to face the wall, but he reached for her shoulder again and leaned in close.

"You didn't answer my question about the Code."

_He's so close… His eyes… Oh, Force, they're beautiful… Since when do have to think about breathing? It's those damned eyes, it has to be._ She realized he wasn't moving until she gave an answer. "I… I don't know. But I _do_ know he wouldn't be _anything_ like _you_," she stubbornly stammered.

"Yeah? That why you're blushing so bad?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied coolly, although in reality, she felt like she was on fire.

"Maybe I can help you understand," he murmured. And then, he leaned closer and closer, until—

"Atton, I can't—"

He smirked and touched his forehead to hers. "And why's that?" His fingers skidded across the skin of her arms, effectively causing her to shiver. "Still trying to please the Order? C'mon, sweetheart, they're not here to care. It's just you and me, babe."

"I… I want to, but—"

"Alright, then," he grinned and moved forward again.

She dodged, but he was content to stay at her ear and gently suckle her lobe. "_But_," she continued with a shuddering voice, "I can't just abandon the Jedi."

"You can still be a Jedi," he protested as he continued his ministrations to her ear, "I can still be your padawan. Just… a padawan with benefits."

She snorted at his mischievous notions. "I doubt we would get very much training done."

"I bet I could teach you a thing or two," he laughed softly.

Ryn found it hard to breathe as he continued to nibble at her ear and neck while stroking her back. His proximity was intoxicating her. It was unbearable and it was all she could do not to just break down right there in front of him.

"Ryn," he murmured in her ear after a considerable amount of silence had passed, "I need you."

Shocked was a huge understatement for how she felt at that moment. Her mind was swirling and she found it hard to form words. Ryn pulled away and shakily placed her hand on his cheekbone before lightly running it down his cheek, nose, and chin before slowly pulling away. "Promise me," she whispered," that if we do this, nothing will change."

"Except sleeping arrangements?" he asked hopefully. He was done being serious; his playful nature had returned.

"Don't be an ass, Rand; I'm being serious."

"I know, and it's incredibly sexy." After a pleading look from Ryn, the pilot frowned and sighed; she had forced him to go back to serious mode. "Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. It'll be tough for me to act like everything's normal." He absentmindedly twirled her hair with his long fingers, watching the way they reflected the light through their dark colors.

"Please, Atton. We have to focus on the mission—no silliness. And I need to know you won't do something stupid to save me."

"Ryn?" She looked up at him and saw that he was surprisingly serious; it looked quite strange on him. "You need to learn how to let people in. You can't do this by yourself."

She didn't say anything; it was much easier to stare at her hands that were nervously folded in her lap.

"So…?" he smiled hopefully in a clear attempt to look even more adorable. Privately, Ryn wondered if that was even possible.

"One more thing…" she began awkwardly.

He frowned. "I'm gonna get tired of waiting," he warned teasingly.

"It's just that—well… I've never really had any sort of… Um, Jedi don't usually do—uh that is we're not exactly _supposed_ to—" she stumbled over her words with a red face and a huge amount of difficulty.

The smuggler-turned-Jedi quickly caught on to her train of thought and gave her a wicked grin. "Are you scared of a little _padawan_, Master Falken?"

She glared at him until he broke into a small laugh. "Don't worry, I'll go slowly for you," he assured her before he brought his mouth to hers. Ryn's eyes widened as she fully realized what was going on before they slowly closed in bliss. Her trembling hands looked for something to hold. He smiled against her mouth and began to teach her the art of kissing. Atton gently placed her hands around his neck, and he used his to frame her face. He slowly moved his warm lips over hers and she tentatively tried to do the same.

It was at that moment that everything dissolved away. Her fear was abandoned in favor of love. The noisy streets of Nar Shadaa that lay outside, the crew, the hum of the ship, all of it was ignored because of his love—yes, love—for her.

He came up for air and stroked her jaw with his thumb. "Not bad," he breathed.

"I…I don't… how…?" she whispered, completely confused but extremely elated that he returned her feelings. Even if he hadn't said it, she knew it was true.

"Don't worry about it," he whispered as he continued to explore her mouth with his own.

Ryn was in a wonderful state of shock and pleasure as he convinced her mouth to part for his tongue. As if the glorious feeling of his lips and tongue weren't enough for her, he also was working magic with his hands. One minute his fingers were playing with her hair, the next they were gently rubbing her exposed lower back. Suddenly a primal urge errupted in her and her hands lunged at his clothes.

"Enjoying yourself, Exile?" he chuckled as he moved his mouth to her neck.

"How does this damned button work?!" she breathed as her trembling fingers attempted to unfasten his shirt. The fact that she could already feel his rippling muscles from underneath the thin material only served to make her fingers more anxious.

"Easy, sweetheart," he laughed. "Hey, weren't you the one that wanted to take this slow?"

She looked up at him with a mischievous grin. "That was _before_ you kissed me."


	3. All These Things

**A/N: Here's chapter three! This is based off of Stephen Speaks' All These Things. Ah, I love him. It's not my favorite chapter, but it's got some cute fluff and good humor, so I guess I'll keep it. This will be the last chapter for this series. Well, kinda. See, I have lots of other chapters, but they happen after the game and all correlate with songs by Bright Eyes, so I decided to do a sequel series. But this is the last chapter that actually takes place during the game.**

**Don't own any of KOTOR's awesomeness and that makes me very sad. Then I think about Atton being adorable and I feel a bit better. lol XD**

Doors

Chapter Three: All These Things

"Cut it out, Atton," Ryn hissed as the pilot slowly ran his foot up and down her leg.

"What?" he grinned cheekily at her. They were standing in the Refugee Sector of Nar Shadaa, attempting to keep an eye on the two feuding merchants.

"This is _exactly_ the kind of behavior I was talking about," Falken groaned as he inched closer. "We're _supposed_ to be blending in!"

"And what's more ordinary than two lovers?" he growled in her ear.

"I doubt we're considered ordinary," she grunted, still trying very hard not to react to his touches.

"You got _that_ right, babe," he chuckled. "After last night—"

"That's not what I mean, you pig!" she snapped. "I meant that we must look odd. A scruffy-looking pilot snuggling up to a Jedi…"

"We could always get rid of these damned robes," he joked, snaking his arm around her waist and tugging at her clothes.

"_Why_ did I agree to bring only you?" she grumbled.

"Guess you're not an exhibitionist…?"

She glared at him pointedly. In reality, she was greatly struggling in her attempt to appear uninterested. The way he held her close, his low voice tempting her with sensual pleasures, and of course, the wonderful memories of their night together that were etched in her brain all contributed to the tiny smile that crossed her pink face and in turn broke most of her resolve.

Atton couldn't take it anymore either, but he showed it much more than his master and lover did. He tightened his grip on her and pulled them into a secluded alley before gripping her shoulders and giving her a hard kiss. He sensed the sweet feeling of triumph as she dissolved in his arms.

Finally, he came up for air; their breathing was heavy and labored. She was the most exquisite creature he'd ever seen. There wasn't even a hint of makeup on her round, lightly tanned face, just pure beauty. _She doesn't even have to try,_ he thought with admiration. "God, you're beautiful," he sighed as he put his hand to her face.

"You're an idiot if you think that's true," she frowned.

He shook his head at her. "And here I thought the Jedi were intelligent," he chuckled as he fingered her soft hair and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm afraid there' isn't very much of that," Ryn smirked, motioning towards her short crop of hair.

Atton shrugged. "I like it this way."

"Really?" she said somewhat doubtfully. "Most men cling to their romanticism of long-haired maidens," she joked.

"Guess I'm just a short-haired Jedi kind of guy."

He practically glowed as she graced his ears with her clear, soft, laugh. _What's wrong with me, _he asked himself. _I've never felt so… happy… I think I forgot how if feels to be like this…_ Atton smiled widely and returned his hand to her cheek.

Ryn sighed and leaned into his hand, causing him to recall how he had made her do such sighs the night before… He found himself wishing he didn't have on gloves so he could feel her soft skin, but he was also afraid of what that would stir in him. They were, after all, in public. _But I can change that,_ he cockily thought to himself.

"Can't we come back some other day? Those merchants'll be here tomorrow," he assured. His hand moved from her cheek to the small of her back, and he made sure to lightly touch her on the way down, just to reinforce his intentions.

Her eyebrows furrowed. _Frack. She's not buying it…_

"Atton, I told you last night—"

Gently, he pulled her closer so she was pressed up against him. "A lot of things were said last night," he laughed softly. "C'mon, Ryn…" Slowly, he inhaled her sweet scent and he felt her shyly prod his free hand with her fingers. A grin crossed his face and he closed his hand over her tiny fingers.

"Atton?" she whispered.

"Mmm?" he murmured as he gave her hand a squeeze.

"Do you trust me?"

He paused, pretending to think over his answer, "Well, you _are _a Jedi… But I guess I'm kinda one too."

"Oh? Is a smuggler that cheats at Pazaak, constantly and recklessly crashes ships, and drinks an unhealthy amount of juma juice and better?" she returned.

"Are you worried I'll get caught, injured, or become an alcoholic?" he joked. "And I only crashed twice—and it wasn't even my fault."

"Answer the question, Rand," she ordered, rolling her eyes once again.

"Yes, Master," he mock bowed his head before getting serious enough to supply her with a suitable answer. "To answer your question, yes; I trust you."

"Then… look at me."

Atton looked up from their entwined hands and into her dark eyes. Just as he began to feel immersed in their dark depths, he felt a ghostly hand enter his head. Unlike Kreia, who had burst in without warning, Ryn politely knocked at the carefully constructed walls that fenced his mind. For a moment he hesitated and then decided to let her enter.

So he began to meticulously wear away the layers, with her talking while he worked. "These emotions have to come from somewhere, right?"

"Well, yeah…" he mumbled sheepishly. "I can't just go around faking emotions. They're too real to duplicate."

A look of hurt appeared on Ryn's face as she sensed the hate that was so untimely released. _No, she must think I… _He grimaced and suppressed the urge to groan.

"That wasn't towards you," he quickly said.

"Then, who?"

"Some of it's from…before. Back when I hated Jedi," he admitted. He felt shame grip him and hoped it was seen by her so she would understand how sorry he felt; he could never hate her.

"And now?"

"I, uh, changed it to… well, to anyone that wants to hurt you. It was a good while back, actually. It was probably around the time when we were on Peragus."

"We'd just met," she mused with her brows raised.

Much to his displeasure, he felt his cheeks redden a tad. "Yeah. Guess you hit me pretty hard." He couldn't help but chuckle as he realized that the next layer happened to be lust.

"And _where_ exactly is _that_ one from, Rand?" Ryn glowered through a burning face.

"Now, _that_ one may have had something to do with you too."

"'_May_'?"

"Hey, some of this is pretty old. I can't promise that everything in that layer is for you… But most of it—not to mention the strongest part of it—is yours," he assured her with a wink. "Peragus…that time you danced for Vogga…last night…"

"Keep going and hush," she said firmly, pursing her lips that he so longed to touch.

The last layer was—

"Fear?"

"That layer is almost entirely new," he informed her. "And it's because I'm always afraid of… losing _you_."

Ryn gave his hand a squeeze just as he had done earlier and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "To quote a great Jedi: 'I'm staying with you for as long as possible'."

Atton eagerly removed that last bit of his wall and hastily intercepted her lips. He felt lightheaded without the extra burdens he was so used to carrying and updating. For the first time in a long time his walls were down and all his emotions came tumbling out to envelop her in love.

Eventually, he pulled away and turned her towards the street to begin walking. He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her as they headed back towards the Hawk.

"So, a great Jedi, huh? You wanna record that for me on a holovid?—clothes optional, of course."

"Sometimes I wonder why I put up with you."

"Love?"

"Oh yeah, that."


End file.
